THE BALANCING ACT

Building Balance for Better Living

May 2005

by Brent O'Bannon, MBS

(Author, Speaker, Counselor/Coach)

Read in this edition...

Always Personal...Stress

Always Professional...Procrastination

Always Playful...Leisure

Forward this issue to your family, friends, or foe!

Have you longed for that new home that would be your perfect paradise? Nine years ago my wife, two kids and I moved into our lovely new hacienda. I assumed the house would always remain in pristine condition. Recently I began to notice the wear and tear of an active family. Carpet stains, cracks in the marble floor, chipped paint, loose cabinet knobs, and toilet seats that needed replacing.

This real life event hits home as a metaphor of STRESS. Stress is wear and tear on our body and brain from active living!

If you've been in relationships, working, playing, and just LIVING, you will experience STRESS. Don't assume that life will remain in a pristine condition.

Notice these four major types of stress in your life.

1. Change can be like my mother who is moving from Destin, Florida to Sherman, Texas. Changing homes, changing doctors, changing friends, changing routines, changing churches, and unfortunately, a change in scenery. My mom used to say on the phone, "It's another beautiful day in paradise". Sometimes we choose change and sometimes change chooses us.

What changes are you facing?

2. Frustration is experienced when we are blocked from getting to our goal. Recently my new mortgage company agreed to pay my property taxes, but failed to complete the task.

What and where are your frustrations coming from?

3. Conflict can be internal or external. We are at war with ourselves. A recovering alcoholic battles the addicted side that wants to drink and the recovery side that wants to be sober. External conflicts can be between parents who want their child to complete their homework and the child resists. 

What conflicts are you ignoring or battling?

4. Pressure involves expectations and demands that are placed on a person internally or externally. Many struggle with self induced pressure to be the perfect housekeeper, perfect parent, or perfect child. Others get guilt trips to make more sales, increase the numbers, or make better grades.

Where are you getting pressure?

You don't have to bulldoze and build another house to enjoy your haven of paradise. Take time to clean the stains, caulk the cracks, brush the paint, tighten the knobs, and for heavens sake replace the toilet seat! If home is where the heart is, then take heart and balance your stress!            

Purchase:

The Balancing Act (The 7 Habits of a Balance Master)

2 CD Audio set for $29.95

or

 Set up a phone coaching or counseling appointment-

903-819-0301 or brent@brentspeaks.com

 Have you finally had enough? I had the perfect peaceful ceiling fan in my bedroom for years. Yet the last six months the ceiling fan progressively squeaked, squealed, and squawked. My wife and I would tolerate the noise until slowly seduced to sleep.

Recently I had burned the midnight oil, was stressed, and needed my sleep relief quickly, but the irritating fan frustrated my goal. I jumped out of my bed with my pajamas and fumbled through the dark to the garage to get my trusty WD-40. I stood on top of the bed and sprayed the fan because I finally had enough!!! To my surprise the squawking fan was instantly fixed!

Why did I procrastinate all those months on fixing the fan?

Why do we waste our time on starting, sustaining, or solving projects?

Procrastination is putting off intentionally that which could be done today. What are reasons that people procrastinate?

1. Fear of failure  2. Fear of responsibility  3. Cost of time  4. Cost of money  5. Indecision

6. Lack of knowledge  7. Over commitment  8. Lack of commitment  9. Just don't want to

Do you need to set an appointment with the doctor or dentist? Do you need to back up the computer? Do you need to start or finish the book you've been wanting to write? When will you write that thank you note? When will you have that much needed talk?

POWERFUL POINTERS TO PUMMEL PROCRASTINATION

1. Ask yourself, "What's the best use of my time right now?"

2. Tackle the biggest & hardest project with small steps.

3. Go public and get accountability.

4. My personal favorite: "If I can do it in 2 minutes, do it now".

If you've had enough screaming procrastination then jump out of bed and spray your powerful pointer to pummel procrastination!

(If you need some motivation to win over your procrastination then invest in)

Winning in Everyday Life audio CD for $19.95

                                                                    Purchase.

My friend had been traveling almost three weeks before finally getting a week off to relax. I was stressed and feeling heavy being on parenting patrol. What a relief on Saturday morning when my buddy called and said, "Let's play ping pong". So off we bounced to enjoy a playful game of ping pong.

Summer is the time of the year for leisure, recreation and vacations! Leisure is defined as the time and activities away from work or duties. What fun activities do you enjoy away from the daily grind?

One study in 1978 found that the majority of men reported that they feel more satisfaction from their leisure activities than work. Yet a study in 1993 revealed that most American workers would rather work more hours and earn more money.

In counseling hundreds of people I have discovered that many people who struggle with depression, anxiety, loneliness, anger, addictions, and a host of other issues don't make time for leisure, recreation, or vacations. Some never learned how to play as children, some are afraid of relationships, and some make excuses that adults should not be frivolous, but continually be on the treadmill of seriousness.

Here are 5 categories of leisure activities...

1. Hobbies include playing music, singing, bird watching, gardening, knitting, collecting stamps, camping, fishing, hiking, restoring cars, etc.

2. Games include chess, checkers, scrabble, cards, dominoes, computer games, bridge, etc.

3. Travel and vacations can be to far away places such as the pyramids, to the nearest museum, or a trip to Grandma's house.

4. Volunteering could be to the local hospital, Boy Scouts, nursing home, reading at schools, mentoring program, church organization, etc.

5. Sports could include running, tennis, golf, scuba diving, dancing, bowling, softball, soccer, riding motorcycles, and the list goes on.

After 30 minutes of friendly chit chat, bursts of liberating laughter and the challenge of almost winning left handed, playing ping pong produced connection, challenge, and creativity. Take time to balance your work life with plenty of leisure and you will enjoy the last laugh.

                                                     Add humor/playfulness to your life... buy this book:

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