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THE BALANCING ACT

Building Balance for Better Living

JUNE 2005

by Brent O'Bannon, MBS

(Author, Speaker, Counselor/Coach)

Read in this edition...

Always Personal...Emotional Intelligence

Always Professional...Successful Image

Forever Playful...Childlike playfulness

Stuck at the bottom of the tennis ladder as a high school freshman, my coach, Jerry Slayton, inspired me with these words, "It's not your aptitude that determines your altitude, it's your attitude". I quickly responded, "I can have an attitude"! After 26 years of competitive tennis I have learned that attitude is what transforms under dogs into top dogs!

Many years later while climbing the ladder towards my masters degree in counseling psychology, this common sense quote was further understood in context of  IQ versus EQ. IQ (Intellectual Quotient) is your aptitude. EQ (Emotional Quotient) is your attitude. Success is your altitude. Researchers say that 70-80% of success is due to a person's emotional intelligence.

Men, you may not want to read this, but your emotional intelligence is more crucial than your intellectual knowledge. Most females have a head start on us because they were socialized to develop their emotional intelligence sooner than we were.

What would your family, friends, and co-workers say about your emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence can be divided into 5 major categories:

1. Knowing your own emotional world. This is your self awareness and ability to identify and label your feelings.

2. Managing your emotions. This is the ability of balancing between the two extremes of stuffing or spewing feelings.

3. Motivating yourself. Jimmy Conners said, "The will to win is inside of you. You have to bring it out".

4. Recognizing emotions in others. How well can you read other people's body language and emotions?

5. Handling relationships. Brian Tracy says, "85% of success comes from relationships, 15% from achievements".

GAME, SET, MATCH. If you want to play with confidence, serve others well, bounce back after any defeat, and always be a winner in everyday life, then keep climbing the ladder of emotional intelligence!

           If your organization needs a speaker call Brent now at 903-819-0301?

You are about to interview for the most important job opportunity of your career. You are putting your best foot forward to sell your product. You are  schmoozing for success in the biggest networking opportunity of your life.

What do all of these scenarios have in common?

You are selling yourself through your image! Psychologists call this impression management.

There are two major ways of presenting a successful image: your appearance and your body language.

Your appearance includes your clothing style, color of your clothes, your hair style, wearing of jewelry, etc.

What does your appearance speak about you? Would you like to maximize your appearance?

Your body language generally makes up 90% of expressing yourself. Verbal communication is only about 10% of self expression. It's extremely important to understand the power of your body language and monitor your body language for professional impact.

 Body language includes your facial expressions, your use of personal space, eye contact, body posture, touch, tone of voice, etc.

How effective are you in using your body language? Would you like to maximize your body language for success?

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine who is a well known image expert.

 Cathrine Hatcher has prepared numerous celebrities for on-camera appearances such as Zig Zigler, Jay Leno, Jeff Foxworthy, Steven Spielberg, Willie Nelson, and Tom Hanks. She has also helped Dallas Cowboy greats, Tom Landry, Roger Staubach and Troy Aikman. Cathrine not only is an image consultant, but is a professional makeup artist who teaches others how to communicate with color and offers special services for cancer patients.

Here are just a few quotes from Cathrine about image.

"People reach at least 12 different conclusions about you during the first 30 seconds they meet you".

"Image isn't simply presenting a beautiful face to the camera. It is being your unique self, having joy and confidence in who you are and what you offer to those who work with you".

I enjoyed and highly recommend Cathrine's audio CD, "Image Matters-Creating a Successful Image".

for only $21.95

Visit Cathrine's web site at www.personasid.com and see some of her pictures with famous celebrities.

Stress was squeezing the life out of me. I was heavy from all this grown up stuff like responsibility, money and parenting.  For my lunch break this day, I went to the park to play.                 

Yes, it is a little funny seeing a grown man in a business suit playing on the merry go round!

I'm sure the neighborhood watch had their binoculars in one hand and with the other hand about to call 911.

I was reminded that recent afternoon how my inner child needed to be nurtured with some child like play. I first ate my lunch on the picnic table then off to the swing set I skipped (o.k. I didn't really skip but I should have!). I soared in that swing and before I realized it the stress began to loosen its grip. I then bounced over to the Hippopotamus and rode him for 2.7 seconds like a bull named Fu Man Chu. Though I didn't go Rocky Mountain climbing, I did scurry up that shiny slide and for the next few minutes I slid down with a silly grin.

When my lunch break was over my stress was loosened and my inner child was happy because he was allowed to play!

Another fun story of being playful and playing like a child came from one of my eZine readers.

Nicky Hill shared that she and her two year old daughter made Valentine cakes with their Easy Bake Oven. They made the biggest mess not only in the kitchen, but on each other! Cake batter in the hair, icing on the face and the most beautiful three inch lopsided cake you had ever seen. Nicky said that experience was delicious, beautiful, and the most FUN she has had in years.                                       

Don't be a fuddy duddy! Remember, to have fun you don't have to be childish, just childlike!

Try these ideas... blow bubbles, squirt a water gun, color in a coloring book, play hide and seek, watch cartoons, throw  water balloons, play hop scotch, jump rope, have a water melon eating contest, etc....

Share your favorite childlike fun story. I would love to get your email! I might just share your story in the next eZine.

What topics would you like Brent to write about in upcoming issues of the eZine? Contact Brent now!   

• Do you have a question or comment for Brent?
• Do you or someone you know need counseling or coaching?
• Do you or your organization need a speaker/training workshop?

      Look at Brent's new resources at

  www.brentspeaks.com