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THE BALANCING ACT

Building Balance for Better Living

AUGUST 2005

by Brent O'Bannon, MBS

(Author, Speaker, Counselor/Coach)

Read in this edition...

Always Personal...          Parent and child relationships

Always Professional...      Working with E's (education)

Forever Playful...17 tips to help you laugh & add humor

After 9 months the moment had arrived! The nurses, doctor, and myself were huddled around my wife in the delivery room. The doctor asked if I wanted to deliver my baby. My eyes opened as big as a frisbee, my heart pounded with excitement, and then I reached out and gently guided a crying baby girl into this world and into my heart. I cut her umbilical cord and gave Tara Elizabeth O'Bannon her first bath! The next 19 years whizzed by so fast I can hardly believe it.                                                                         

Someone once said, "Parents need to give their children roots to grow and wings to fly". What does this really mean?

Fortunately, my parents gave me roots to grow and wings to fly! Roots are the foundation and base for a living plant. We give our children roots when we teach them how to build character. What character traits do you want your children to live by?

My parents taught me the importance of communication, respect, and finishing what I start. They encouraged me to get an education, to work hard, and play hard. They taught me how to live a life of balance. These are my roots and I'm thankful for parents who showed me these qualities.

What roots do you want to give your children? Make a list and talk with your children about the roots you want them to have. Show them your heart!

How can we give our children wings to fly?

My parents were involved with my life. My dad helped coach, my mom drove me back and forth from practices, and both were always cheering me in the stands. They hugged me, challenged me, and comforted me when I lost. They taught me that I can love and be proud of myself. They believed in me, which helped me to believe in myself. They supported my dreams and let me fly out of the nest when it was time.

I've come to discover that children step on our toes when they're young. They step on our hearts when they get older.

Recently, my 17 year old son and I went to a weekend long program called Discovery. There I discovered that I was providing well, saying the right words, but not showing my heart to my children. Trent and I hugged, cried and laughed like never before. I was able to tearfully express my heartfelt  love to him. I highly recommend anyone to attend the DISCOVERY program which was originally started by Dr. Phil McGraw as PATHWAYS. Check out the web site at www.discovery-training.com. I swear I could almost see Trent sprout wings in our discovery experience. Here is another example of helping your child fly and building their self-esteem.

A single mother and her 6 year old boy came to counseling one day. The little boy pulled two pieces of paper from the school office out of his back pack to give to his mother. He began crying and yelling, "I don't want to get in trouble mama, I don't want to get in trouble mama". She got up from her chair and placed her hands gently around his crying face. She looked into his eyes and said, "Everyone has good days and bad days. Who is the sunshine of my life?" The little boy smiled ear to ear and joyfully said, "I am mama".

James Barrie said it so well. "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves".

Every child deserves roots to grow, wings to fly, and sunshine to flourish! 

View Brent's resources at www.brentspeaks.com                                               

As a novice tennis player at 15 years old, I was excited when my father took me to watch my first professional tennis tournament in Dallas, Texas. John McEnroe and Johan Kriek blasted serves, returns, and winners all over the court. I was amazed at how effortless and easy they made the game look.

You would probably agree with me that true professionals, no matter what their craft is, make their work look easy. Their work looks effortless, because they have learned to "work with E's".

Would you like to achieve true professionalism and learn to work with E's? In the next few eZines, I'm going to share, "7 Everyday Secrets to Working with E's". So, let's take a look at the first E, which is education.

Have you ever been stuck in your career journey, without a job, and not knowing what's next? I was in that place in 1990. My wife and I argued about my decision to go back to school and work on my Masters degree in counseling psychology. We had two children to feed, and she was afraid the cost was too much and that getting a masters really wouldn't pay off in the long run. Fifteen years later, my wife, family, and in-laws are glad I paid the price to further my education. Now, I practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Texas.

Knowledge is power! The US Department of Labor reports that Bachelor degree holders earn 68% more and Masters degree recipients earn on average 90% more than those with a high school diploma. Professionals are committed to learning and continuing education in their field. It's been said there are three levels of learning and knowledge. First you gain information, second you practice the information, and third you teach the information.

A formal education is a place to start, but not the place to stop. Professionals continue to learn by reading, by attending workshops, by asking questions, by watching videos, by having a mentor, and by listening to audio programs. There are literally thousands of ways to learn in the School of Hard Knocks.

Tiger Woods is the ultimate professional. Even though he is the number one golfer and possibly the best golfer of all time, he continues to strive to learn more about the game of golf through opening his mind to other teachers and coaches in his life. If you want to drive your career to further success and finesse your way to the top of the leader board, then start with education, continue with a  learning spirit, and never close your mind to gain more knowledge. 

"Open your Mind & Get an Education"

Whether for fee or free, book Brent for a personal, professional, playful talk or training for your organization.   

"Brent gave a wonderful professional presentation with the right amount of humor, education, and heartfelt information! (Quote by recent workshop participant)  

Stay tuned, for the next edition to learn about Brent's second "Everyday Secret to Working with E's".

Call 903-819-0301 or  Contact Brent Now.

The great thinker and philosopher Plato once said,                                

"You can learn more about a man in one hour of play than in a year of conversation".        

How about playing a game right now! The first 5 people who complete the game with all correct and send me their answers will win their choice of "Winning in Everyday Life audio CD" or a "20 minute phone coaching session".

Here are the instructions. Match up the examples on the right section to the 17 laugh tips on the left.

"Are you having FUN YET !" 

Contact Brent now!  

• Do you have a question or comment for Brent?
• Do you or someone you know need counseling or coaching?
• Do you or your organization need a speaker/training workshop?
• What topics would you like Brent to write about in upcoming issues?

View Brent's resources at www.brentspeaks.com